Well it’s me the wild loud one as my girls would say. But that’s just one side of me. It’s been a week since our little girls night out and I had been in the mood for some company; male and female this time. Don’t get me wrong I love my girls, but I also have many other friends as well and just wanted to have some fun.
“I don’t see them over here are you sure you didn’t lock them in your car.”
“I’m not sure now, I will run outside and check,” he slurred.
As he stumbled to the door, I had to laugh at the show I was putting on; plus he looked so cute and helpless with his drunk ass. There was no way I was letting him drive home in his condition. I don’t care how good he think he is, and that’s why I have his key sitting on top of my dresser. Usually Robert can hold his liquor far better than me, but tonight he drank like there was no tomorrow.
I just hosted a little gathering at my house just because I was bored and I could. I asked Robert to come over early so he could show off his skills on the barbecue grill since he always bragging about how good his cooking is. Once he finished, he got out of his smoke absorbed clothes and changed into his outfit for the night. So, he’s pretty much been here all day. We started the night out with a little music and conversation, then we started eating, telling jokes and playing spades. I must admit he was not kidding around about his barbecue. All of my guest had great things to say about the food. After most of us had ate we crank the music up a little bit more and started dancing like we were still in our early twenties. No doubt we’ll be feeling that shit in the morning. But he took good care of me the night I had a few too many and I intend to repay the favor. It’s funny how we became friends. He used to date my friend Tiffany, who died only 3 years ago in a car accident. He and I were always tight even before her death because we had so much in common from the books we read, to the food we ate, and taste in music and movies. So it was only natural that after Tiff’s death we remained close friends. After her death he clung to whatever ties he had. Didn’t help matters that he has no family here or at all really. His parents died years ago and he was an only child. He met Tiff on a dating site when he found out he would be relocating to Chicago for his job.
“Stop yelling boy,” I hissed.
“Awe my bad, but nope they not out in the car either. Are you sure one of your friends didn’t accidentally pick up my keys by mistake?”
“I’m not sure, but they all live close so let me make some calls. In the mean while why don’t you go chill in the living-room and find something on TV.” I wanted to add, because these nonexistent calls I’m about to make are going to take a long time. He sound so defeated as he gave in and said “okay.”
Once I finished in the kitchen I figured I would join Robert and maybe we could watch a movie or something. Wrong. I returned to find him sprawled across my sofa in what could only be described as a liquor induced coma. I guess he should be tired he has been up since six o’clock, at my house since eleven o’clock, drinking since five this evening and now we’re forty minutes into a new day. I guess I better go unhide his keys before I go to bed. I placed the keys where I know he could find them, spread a blanket over him and went to bed myself.
The next morning I woke up a little sluggish from last night’s festivities. I figured I would go and wake Robert. He should be okay to drive home now; but to my surprise when I got to the living room the only thing on the sofa was a folded blanket. Damn he didn’t even wake me up to say goodbye. On my way back to my bedroom I heard a noise in the kitchen. He must still be here. As I got closer to the kitchen I could smell the aroma of fresh coffee. Oh how I hope he made enough for the both of us.
As I walked into the kitchen I found Robert still in the same clothes from last night. He was wearing the apron he had on while barbecuing but only this time instead of tongs he was wielding a spatula. I smiled gratefully as he was flipping sausage out of a pan onto a couple of plates of which both had eggs, cheese grits and toast. We made eye contact and he said, “so I take it by that smile you were definitely in the mood for breakfast.”
“You didn’t have to do all this Rob.”
“I know, but I was cooking for myself anyway. I thought it would be rude not to make you something since it is YOUR food and YOUR kitchen,” he said with a chuckle. “Plus, you let me crash on your sofa because I was too wasted to see my keys last night.”
“Oh, so you found them. Where were they?”
“Funny thing happen, when I woke up this morning I was about to go to the bathroom and found them laying right near the side of the sofa. They were almost underneath. I don’t know how we missed them last night.” I know how he missed them. Because I had not put them there yet for him to find. I smiled and he assumed I found humor in his story.
“Well I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m not grateful. You got it smelling good up in here,” I said with the snap of a finger. “Let me set the table and…”
He cut me off saying, “Actually I have been nibbling the entire time I’ve been cooking what I really could use is a shower.”
“Oh, you got more clothes. I have gym shorts and a shirt in my bag in the car. I plan to just put that on,” he said as he began to walk off toward the bathroom.
“Robert,” I yelled. “I just remembered the shower in the hallway bathroom still needs to be looked at. You can use the one in my bedroom.”
“Oh, naw. I can just wait till I get home. I was just thinking I would leave from here and go straight to the gym.”
“No. It’s okay just grab a towel out of the hallway closet.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be invading your personal space.”
“Boy! I wouldn’t have offered it if it wasn’t cool. Now go head and take your shower.”
He thanked me again and set off to grab a bath and face towel. I sat down and ate. Oh and wow were the first two things that came to mind when I started eating. He can really cook. I hate to say it but the man may be able to cook better than me. I guess now I know one of the reasons Tiff kept him around so long cause she couldn’t cook to save her life. No puns intended. I finished my food and headed back to my room to grab me something to wear. The on suite in my bedroom doesn’t have a door so as I walk into the my bedroom I heard him singing “Funny” by Gerald Levert while in the shower. He’s not bad at all. I guess that’s two reasons Tiff kept him around. I laughed and waved it off as I made my way to my walk-in closet and started piecing together the right outfit for today. Okay, I got it: skinny jeans, nice blouse and heels. Done.
I came out of the closet and started to make my bed from when I heard the singing stop and the shower turn off. I rushed over to the side of the bed to grab the last of the throw pillows so I can get out of the room. And that’s when I saw it. The third reason Tiff would not let him go. From the angle I was at I could see Robert’s reflection in the bathroom mirror as he stepped from behind the shower wall. Oh my God was the only thing I could say and think. Robert was hung, and I mean seriously hung. His shit was nice and thick and hung more than half the length of his thigh. I was stuck like Celie in The Color Purple staring at Shug Avery. I just had to see it for a little while longer. Everything in me said to run out of my room before I get caught, but the devil inside of me was starting to warm things up. My body temperature when from normal to fever in about six seconds. I managed to regain the use of my legs and got the hell out of the room before he came out and saw me.
I thought I was busted because no sooner than I made it out the room I heard him yell my name. “Gina.”
“Y-Y-Yeah,” I stammered thinking he saw me.
“You got plans this morning”
“Not really.” Outside of me rubbing one out imagining what that monster he got would feel like to be inside of me. Fuck. Gina stop it. Get your shit together. That’s your girls ex-boyfriend. But she dead. May her soul rest in peace, but there ain’t nothing she can do with that dick now. This is crazy we are just friends.
“You want to go to the gym with me, I have a buddy pass.”
Oh thank God all he want is the gym. “Yeah that’s cool, I took clothes out but I can just take them with me.”
“Well I will be out in a few minutes. I can eat while you get dressed.”
“That works because I will need at least 20 minutes.” That will give me time to put my shower head to good use.
“Okay. I will be out in a minute.”
MORE TO COME…
© 2016. N L Writings.